Damn we got weight on our shoulders....

The only real benefits from me getting railroaded out of my most recent day job (that story is for another day) have been the new opportunity I am about to start (peace to my new boss Ron) and that I have had a chance to really ponder some interesting stuff. Say what you will about daytime TV but every now and again you get some insight on some things from the most unexpected places. Today, for me, it came from a rerun of the Tyra Banks show.

Good hair.

It's something we've all heard but so few really know what it means. It's a concept that so many people in this country (sticking with American culture for now) have no real idea about yet their opinion about it matters. Hell, I know I didn't really think about it much, besides the occasional discussion here and there in college and the great musical number in Spike Lee's "School Daze" ( a personal favorite of mine). Never thought I'd have to really worry about it. And then, 6 years ago the Universe decided to bless me with a perfect little baby girl. Her mother is Puerto Rican so when word got out that we were having a girl, one thing I heard over and over was that she would really good hair.

Huh? I had know idea what to even think. Truth be told, I always thought that if had kids, it would be only boys (why I thought that, I couldn't tell you) and they'd get cuts when they were wolfin' just like I did. Now there's a whole new set of variables; what if she doesn't have "good hair"? My mom was taken from this mortal plane when I was ten, so there would be no help from her Grandma. I knew my big sister would help if need be, but what the wife knew about caring for black hair, I had no idea.

Fast forward to today. My daughter always gets compliments about her hair. It's hella curly, but it can do damn near whatever we want it to (big shouts out to Mixed Chicks, the product line that we use on her and my son's hair. What that's going to do to his psyche is another story for another time).

But I still wonder, how has the whole concept of good hair continued to hold weight? Especially from black people? I think we know by now that it's an idea born out of racism. That our ancestors were blatantly told of the ugliness of their features and sold the bill of goods that European features were superior. Today we're still caught up in trying to reach Eurocentric standards of beauty that we know are bogus. We still get told by corporate America that the styles we rock with our natural hair (cornrows, dreadlocks, blowouts, etc.) are unprofessional and unacceptable in their boardrooms and offices.

Yet we continue those same "unacceptable" hairstlye policies in our own companies. And yet not only do so many of us still try to reach those standards, but we also continue to push those standards on our kids. Especially our little girls. And it's many of their own mothers, grandmothers, sisters and friends bringing the "good hair" pressure to bear. Women who've had to deal with it and turn around and give it to another generation of girls.

Before anyone thinks that I'm coming down on just the sisters, recognize that's not the case. Yes the effects of this whole mess are most prevalent on them, but fellas we are just as gulity. We are the bosses who say that naturals are unacceptable. We are the men who will only date women with long, straight hair. (Hold up, Ran!!! Your lady has straight hair. Shit, she's not even black. Hypocrite! Don't you worry, we'll have that discussion later. Trust me on that.)

So black folks, what are going to do about this one? Is this our biggest problem? Hell no! But it matters and it's way too much fun to discuss. Everyone else, your questions, comments and input are certainly welcome. Get at me y'all.

Peace.

The Voice